Reflections nine

life
as we know it
will only go in the direction
we lead -
rain falls onto
the ground
i lay in
discomfort
sick from something
my mind
isn't clear -
no sun in
my soul today
clouds hang over my mind
not knowing
what or where to go -
i sit back listening
to the rain
falling outside my window
no one to call
no one is calling
i am better
off that way
sometimes it is okay
to be left alone -
leaving peace around me
wondering what the
week has ahead
life is a big test
studying is
what we need to do -
watch from example
many people do
others lose control
never forget
who is doing it -
life is settle
need more than what i need
a roof over head
food to eat
clothes to wear
car to drive
a job that pays better than nothing -
independance,
i learned from my grandpa
"reputation can't
be bought
but can be lost"
you don't need wants
but need to live
roof over head
clothes to wear
food to eat
car to drive
a job that pays is more than most have
pretty damn lucky -
my grandfather watches
over me
provides me
with his whispers
his voice is clear
I hear "do you want or do you really need?"
I walk away a little bit
more ahead
realized my needs are more
than what I want
times ahead will
provide me
with my wants
being independent
working harder
focusing on getting my life right
wants will be
a way to celebrate
when my needs are taken care of -
you are your own person
you owe yourself more
than what you want your needs are -
as my grandfather would say,
"It is more for you to have
than to regret a want
you no longer need -
walk in your life
with what you need
your needs should be right
your wants will someday
come but till than
enjoy what you have
as needs
come and go
wants never stop."

by me


in memory of my grandfather 1912-1996