Reflections three

unsure of where
to go in life
what is important to me
not to you --
walking alone
with no one next to me
is fine most days
even though
it would be nice
to look over and see you there everyday -
i saw you one day
confused
as to why you showed up without notice -
honestly i was embarressed
uncomfortable to say the least
why did you stop in?
unsure of the past
convinced of the future
memories are good
mostly bad
you annoyed me
i know i annoyed you too -
you hid behind yourself
afriad,
i don't know why -
this point i don't care
i use to till hell broke loose -
what am i to think now
people talk
should i be sad
or ticked because you walked
away without a reason -
once again
i am left to wonder
like i am in a game
played by me
against all of you -
rules are set by you
you break them -
i try to follow
yet i am left standing
not a loser
not a winner -
what game is it
that you played?
what was the point
of your game play?
explain yourself to me
for once i want to know
were you told to enter my life?
once i was finding good
not including you
you should have never stopped -
once again i am a joke
a joke you tell well
someone told you
to play a joke
otherwise
why not just walk away
never to look back -
why did you do it
what did you gain
i lost my focus for a day
thank God it wasn't as long as before -
i collected the peices from before
glued held up
just from the last time -
you lost me
long time ago
words and actions
you lost me in translation -
where was your heart
lost just like your mind
life is better -
you sucked the life
out of me once
you can't do it again -
people said you were strange
you sorta were
you enjoyed too much
about you
never gave back
unless it was about you -
i am fine where I am
don't need you
you stay where you are
sucking life out of everyone who will let you -
you had a moment of my time
my hand felt your spirit
you walked away -
reality hit
it felt good
that minute to see you as you were
life is better for me when you are not in it
life goes on...
other things on my mind
you have a space in my heart
no place else -
my mind is focused
not on you
I don't need you
i can live without you -
I am still confused
I will never know why
I will always assume the worst
from that day
day after day -
i have more to do
than to sit around thinking of you
nothing is more important -
especially you -
i know i can sleep
knowing i am over you
walking away
the best thing
i knew i could do -
life is full of ups and downs
i know i can carry on
without you -

by me